Jokes

[Ricochet]

To encourage a little more light humour and regular forum access.
Popular at my work as we are all crazy nut cases i figured why not try it here.

thread for random jokes.

I knew a girl that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

----------------------------------------------

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The policeman said, "What's he like?"

Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

[Ricochet]

BT Values:

Straightforward
Helpful
Heart
Inspiring
Trustworthy

If you don't believe me check out:
http://www.btplc.com/Thegroup/Companyprofile/Ourvalues/Ourvalues.htm

[Tempest]

BT Values:

Straightforward
Helpful
Heart
Inspiring
Trustworthy

If you don't believe me check out:
http://www.btplc.com/Thegroup/Companyprofile/Ourvalues/Ourvalues.htm (http://www.btplc.com/Thegroup/Companyprofile/Ourvalues/Ourvalues.htm)

1 too many H's methinks........

[MrBlades]

Yeah, take the helpful part out and it's just about right.

[Ricochet]

I'd have to agree :) take the whole lot out or revamp the words may just cover it

[DJ Zepher]

Guts and Balls - The Medical Distinction


We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.