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View Full Version : Tempest & Whiteys Anonymous Confessional! (NSFW)


Tempest
24th September 2007, 20:30
On Sunday 23rd, Whitey & myself asked the question:

What is the worst thing you have done when you thought nobody was watching, where was it, how did you get caught and what were the consequences?

We got some interesting responses and the majority of them are below - enjoy!

On the last day of grade 8 out school went on a camping trip. Each one of my friends were really pissed because it was going to be boring so we brought a red label and russian vodka. After we arrived at the camp location and setting the tents up we went to get a shot of vodka every 10 minutes. When it was time to go to bed(sleep) we were really drunk. We went around girls tents and found out that one of the girls tents were also drinking smthing and one of the girls was really waisted. We sat in there for about half an hour drinking we started to make out and take off each others close, half way through this i throw up (not because i drank too much but because i mixed vodka with sprite, my dinner made of meat and spicy sause). One of the councelors heard this and come into the tent and sees us half naked waisted and vomit next to us. I got into a lot of shit after that.

I was in high school at the time this story happened. I was over at my girlfriend's house, alone with her. Obviously having a bit of fun. In the dining room, she was up on the table, I was sitting down having a bite to eat. Her parents were not supposed to come back home for a couple hours. Unfortunateyl, her father did come home. Not sure why... In any case, we were plainly visible from the front door. I had some running to do. The kicker: I was sitting at the chair he always ate dinner ate. I bet he had problems for years after.

When I was a young kid (just after being potty trained), I woke up in the middle of the night having to go.
I wake up, and run into the living room and ask for permission to go to the bathroom.
After gettin permissio, I go to the bathroom, and stand in the doorway for a good thirty seconds. I looked down the way at the toilet, then looked at the sink (which was only a meter away).
I spend another minute climbing up the side of the sink, and have a good sit. After leaving a good pound of my weight in the sink, My pareants pop in with a camera and take a picture (thinking I was on the toilet).
That picutre has haunted me the rest of my life, as it was put in my High school yearbook in the Senior flashbacks section....

well this doesnt quite qualify perhaps, but why not...
i have a cousin who is about 14 yrs old. she's shy, but had gotten her first boyfriend a few months back. i was staying at my uncles place visiting over memorial day here in the states and woke up in the middle of the night, hearing a noise. i went to investigate and found my cousin and her boyfriend making out in the living room.
i kinda went a bit ballistic, yanked the guy off her and proceeded to throw him bodily out of the house with threats of massive bodily harm if he ever so much as spoke to my cousin again.
i walk back inside and find my cousin crying her eyes out. i felt like a total shmuck for ruining her first relationship.

This one time I was alone and horney, so i masterbated watching porn on my TV like most horney men would do. WEll I used to live in the Country where no one lived near my house,, but I had jsut moved to the city, when I finised I noticed that I rather goodsize croud of my neighbors was behind my place and that they could see into my house, becasue I did not close the blinds.

Ok well i was going to tell you how i slept with my best friends girl and took her in high school. Then i though i would tell you bout the poor sod whos wife i was screwing and then found out why she needed an outlit so much after seeing his small small equipment. But then i figured lets not go there. When i was 17, i slept with my step sister who was 11 at the time. Well i couldest sleep with her per-say but we did fool around quite a bit and tore her several ties in trying to get to it but never managed to break her in. Well i was doing all this while i had a girl friend. The one who i stole from my best friend. Then to make matters worse about 6 – 8 years later when my parents asked me about it i emphaticley denied it ever happened. To this day i do not know the status of belief.

My girlfriend was giving me a blow job in her room, I was doing a bit of moaning a bit, we thought noone was home, and like, 10 mins into this her brother walks in, opens the door, we both look over, so I didin't know what the hell to do, so i gave him the two fingered peace sign.

I was at a drinking session after work with all the mates, we been doing it proud for hours since lunch time so were all suitably intoxicated.
I decieded that I need to releave myself but knew the mens room was down two flights of stairs and at the back of the bar.. so in my wisdom I found large flower pot down the end of the main bar next to us. Being very dark I thought no one would notice..
Half way through the wee, I began to take more interest in the wall to my left and noticed it looked more like a very tinted window. After squinting I also noticed a whole table to women staring at me peeing into the flower pot and now half way down my leg...
This would usually have been aweful enough, but I assume to this day it was some kind of hen night as one of the "ladies" proceeded to take a piss on the otherside in front of me.. mortified and embarressed I made my excuses and left very very quickly!

Just read you accept more than one confrsion - Another one from me, also involving my troubled peeing habits.
Different bar and different mates, equally intoxicated. I was busting moves on the dance floor with a random girl I had just bumped into and was dying for a piss..
I was just about to dash off to relieve myself but the DJ changed the track to a slow song and she collered me not allowing my deperate escape.
Halfway through the song things went bad, and by the end we were both a little wet... I managed to pull it off by blaming it on the spilt beer in my hand !!
Beer for the win!

it was a normal vacation till the waitress came on to me endend havin sex in teh toilets then one of my kids walkt in and told on my wife

highschool me and a cheerleader hit it of in the male clothingroom while we where naughty in teh showers the firstyears walk in from there gym training and straightin the shower

When I was in highschool, about Grade 11, I was at my girlfriends place and she had to leave for work. Anyways, her sister who was a year younger came on to me in her absence. To make a long story short, turns out she had marked down the wrong shift and didn't have to work.... She came home and busted me giving her little sister an oral examination.... suffice it to say sister love only goes so far and that was the end of that relationship.

Was partying at a couple friends' houses (they were married and have 2 kids). Everybody had passed out by this time and I and his wife were the only ones left up. Her daughter happened to wake up and come downstairs while we were having intercourse and went to find her dad who then came downstairs and caught us in the act. I've not talked to either of them since.

the person in question was wanking with sound turned off on his comp,
the trick was, that he had his skype to auto accept calls and start webcam.
while excersising to some xxx, his girl skyped him and got a live feed of her b-friend wanking to a movie on the comp.
after the excercize and clean-up, he returned to his comp and only then noticed the webcam light was on .. fearing the worst, he unmuted the comp and sure enough, the voice of his gf was crying on skype came through to him ..
the person in question does not live around here no more, so follow up on issue is not possible.

I was in my bedroom, Facing my monitor, watching porn and 'excersizing' my right hand..... I hit the wall and whiped it up with a sock.,... To my supprise my mother was at the door.....

Tempest
24th September 2007, 20:31
Came back from a night out with a friend. She thought it would be a good idea to try some of this BDSM watcha'ma-call it. 20 Minuted later, im at her house, in Leather pants, a chain around my neck, and her lashing my arse to pieces...... The day after, i go into school to see half the night had been RECORDED and put on a MYSPACE WEBSITE..!!!!...

Having just finished a 14hour shift at work, i came home at 2am finding myself in a rather horny mood. As per usuall i got undressed and had a shower in the downstairs bathroom as not to wake up my 5 year old son. I went upstairs to the bedroom and told the wifey i was in the mood for lovin and started to describe in rather obsence detail what i was about to do to her rather large breasts.
I stripped back the douvet ready to grab wifey, only to a disgustingly hairy bloke on my side of the bed. Thinking my wife is having a affair i switch on the light ready to kick the living daylights out of this hairy man, only to find out it was my parents in law who had come over to visit for the weekend.
The look on my mother in laws face while stairing at my erect manhood is to this day haunting me at every family get to gether!!!

16 years old, first job., a petrol pump attendant. One day some cockey arrogant self centred *** came in to the forecort. He was so full of himself, etc. etc. So... as it was my job to fill the cars with petrol I decided that I did not like this person and promptly filled his pertrol car with diesel. The guy paid, drove of, etc... Shortly later one very very angry person returns as his car is not in the best of condition anymore.... Strangely enough I'm fired and my employer has to pay for the car to be repaired.... :/ Never worked as a petrol pump attendant again... ;)

in 5th grade there was a traditional time of the year when the teachers would hand out character buttons like "honesty" or "sportsmanship" to kids that had shown those traits,
but i knew from the beginning that the teachers were crooked and were handing them out to their favorite students. so i got to talking with my friend who was also fed up with this, and we formed a plan to right our teacher's gross perversions of justice...
during lunch one day, my friend and i said we had to go the bathroom. we then snuck up to our classroom (luckily the door was open) and we pinched a bunch of hte prominently displayed buttons on some of the students' desks...
we did this safely without getting caught, but then there was the matter of disposing the evidence. my friend decided to throw his buttons into the river, and i would throw mine out in the trash can on the bus ride home. in the meantime, some rowdy kids from another class were blamed
unfortunately, one fo hte loud-mouthed do-gooders rode my bus. and he saw me covertly with the slip of the hand release a few of his precious buttons into the waste basket. he said nothing then, but when i went into class the next morning everyone was stareing at me strangely...
the kid told everyone i was the notorious button thief, and i was alone until the 7th grade, and i got detention 2 hours that saturday :(

Let me just start by saying my girlfriend at the time of this event was a little freaky. So My Grilfriend and one of my best mates were hanging out at my place. My friend decides to go home and naturally me and my grilfriend at the time decide to have some "fun". This time however she decides she wants to try something new. She has me tie her up, gag her, and some spanking etc etc. And it just so happens my friend forgot his phone at my place shows up about 30 minutes later to find my Girlfriend tied up to the staircase rail with me having sex with her and doing some other naughty things. To this day any time I start dating a new girl they go out of their way to warn the girl to watch out or I might "Tie her up".

I was 16 years old at the time. One late sleepless night, i was bored of normal wanking, so i decided to try masturbating the "wrong way"...
The idea first came to me after reading an article on prostate stimulation.
I found an old supersoaker wich had a pumphandle wich looked "apropriate".. I disassembeld the damn thing and proceded with my doings.. After packing the fudge, i didnät know what the hell to do with the pumphandle, i felt i couldnt take the risk of throwing it away in the garbage and risk anyone to to find it.
I decided to wrap it up in some toilet paper and hide it under my bed. About a month later or so, i had left to a LAN party over a week, i also should mention that i'd left my room in an utter and complete mess. My mother was very unhappy with this and called me up and said this was not okay. I told her i'd clean my room and clean all the mess up. Then i kept on gaming.
Later, when i came home really tired, i enterd my room which was NOT in the state i left it in.. Everything was clean and my mother kindly asked me to keep it that way. Then she showed me a box of some stuff she didnät know what to do with.. Amongs some IDE cables, Cat5 cables, headphones and so on.. there ewas my Super soaker masturbation tool. My face turned deep red, i took the thing discretly, passed my mom a look and she had the most horryfying look i''ve ever seen. I was so ashamed but i didn't quite know if she had figured out what i'd used it for.. But given the fact of the old dried up body lotion on the damn thing and the weak scent of shit coming from it.. I'd not be surprised if she did. I thew it away and didn't say more than perhaps 5 sentences to my mother in the following two days.,

As i'm pretty cood with computers.
A girlfriend of a friend of mine called me over to fix her pc.
All nice and well, stayed for coffee and coockies, and her mum came on to me... in a pretty agressive way O.o
She literally threw herself on me, grabbing my crotch and kissing me full on the mouth, just when her husband walked in,........ >_<
I ran like i never ran before :S

So...I'm in San Francisco at this restaurant that has some dancers / watresses. They dance on the bar...and whatnot. Anyway, I'm getting on well with one of the cuter ones. One thing leads to another and I'm taking her out for the night. My new hot-as-hell date and I decide to meet up with a few of my friends that night. All is going brilliantly until one of my friends asks where my date works. She give the name of the resturant, and ALL of my friends burst into laughter at once.
Turns out all of the 'watresses' at this particular resturant are transvestites. My new date...is a guy.

We will be having another confessional soon(tm)!